(Just sayin’. )

I have so many random thoughts in my head that I thought I’d write some of them here. They come from a good and happy place, or maybe I’m just trying to delay cleaning a room in my house. Either way, it’s ok, right?

First of all, I do realize that I have a good life, complete with a solidly positive attitude. Or should I say, because I have a positive attitude, I have I good life? It doesn’t matter. People matter. Health matters. Family and close friends matter. I choose to pay attention to all of these things as much as I possibly can on any given day. Well, why am I sharing this? I get a feeling that folks think I’m “blessed” and maybe I am. But I insist that the way I intentionally choose and then live out my days, makes a difference. Hear me out.

I choose to care for loved ones. For example, I cook for those in my life as often as I can because I believe it shows my devotion to, and care for them, as important people in my life. Some shop for others. I cook for them and try to spend time in their lives. I love coffee dates, walks, happy hours and dinners or lunches with others.

I also know how to care for myself. I wake early to meditate and pray. I exercise, nap and spend time on my favorite hobbies. Before I retired from teaching, I still did all of these things, only now I can spend more time on each. I do miss students, but I poured what I could into the humans who were in my classes. Now I pour some extra time on me and also on friends and family who live nearby. In other words, I choose how I live my life with care and attention to what makes me happy. Paradoxically, my family and friends make me very happy, so I balance spending time with them and spending some much needed alone time, feeding my own soul.

I write all of this because I truly believe that many folks that I know do not seem happy with how they balance their work lives with their play and self-care lives. If I could give advice to my younger self or to people who want to read this it would go something like this:

1. Don’t wait to do what makes you happy. Work it in now. We are not promised tomorrow.
2. Make a list of big and small wishes and cross one of each off of your list and do this as soon as humanly possible. See #1, that we are not promised tomorrow.
3. Be kind in an unexpected way to a loved one, today. Call, text, or make a date for coffee, lunch or a walk. It doesn’t need to cost money.
4. Which leads to time: it is important to take the time to tell someone you miss them, or want to see them. Why wait? See #1.
5. Make a bucket list and start on it today. Make the list today or research the places you want to see today. Then write a future date in your calendar of your top place and try to make that happen for yourself. Is it in two years? That’s ok. Just have some smaller fun before that date! For example, if you want to go to Italy (I do!) first maybe you should find a few Italian recipes you want to make and do that to keep the spark alive until you can make a bigger step, like buying a plane ticket!
6. Things are not as important as people. When you die, people toss your things but they wish they could see you, one more time. Reread this as often as necessary.
7. Be kind to yourself when nothing on your list gets done. With any luck at all, we will have tomorrow to remedy that.
8. Call someone you care about every day. I break this promise nearly every week! I tend to text. But it’s not personal enough. I can do better. We can all do better.
9. Finally, make the dish for a friend. Cook the casserole, make the cornbread and offer coffee or tea. If you don’t like to cook, buy the dish, but trust me when I say you will be very proud of yourself when you make it. If you have never done this, start small. Make a pot of tea or coffee and serve with store bought cookies. I’d love it and you will feel good about life!
10. I don’t have a #10. I just love people and want to be present in their lives. I hope you love me too! Thanks for calling! (Hint, hint)

Love,

Marci

PS. The cornbread recipe follows! Tomorrow. I hope! (see #1)

Pictured: My two children, spending time playing chess one evening. It was rather long ago, but they did spend time together on a chilly night on top of a mountain retreat!